National Marriage Organization Exhumes Corpse of Anita Bryant

Princeton NJ – In a bold new move designed to reinvigorate the fight for traditional marriage, the corpse of Anita Bryant was wheeled into the conference room of the Motel Six here this morning and propped up near a table of complimentary muffins. A spokesperson for the National Marriage Organization described the divorced former beauty queen’s remains as a “great addition to our army of the undead, fighting for family values in America’s heartland.”

Responding to accusations that the bankrupt, gay–bashing singer is not dead but currently residing in Edmond, Oklahoma, a NMO spokesman conceded that to live in Edmond, Oklahoma is “largely indistinguishable” from being dead and that the alleged corpse of Anita Bryant could only be described as an “Anita Bryant type.”

Homophobia is a business

The National Organization for Marriage's recent troubles with Maine's state election commission demonstrates the increasing troubles that professional homophobes face in America today.

I have said it before and I will say it again: As much as we are fighting to change the laws in this country, we are working to make professional homophobia an unprofitable business model.

If we can establish on the federal level that LGBT people are a minority, deserving basic protections; we will go a long way towards removing the economic incentive for professional haters (such as Ms. Gallagher, pictured above) to practice "hate for a living."

Homophobia will not go away when we pass ENDA, defeat Prop 8, repeal DADT and kill DOMA but once we achieve these goals, the machinery of the state will no longer aid our enemies.

What we are fighting for, as much as changing minds, is to change the balance of power that sexual minorities face as we struggle for equality throughout the legal system.